Scintillating conversation. Spectacular scenery. Crackpot theories. Fine whisky. Endless taunting and mockery. And salmon. Coho (Oncorhynchus kisutch), to be precise. Lots and lots of salmon. At least, that is the theory.

It all began in the fall of 1994, when Marlon Bessie failed to catch anything during a solo trip to the famed coho runs of the Chilkoot and Chilkat rivers that empty into the Gulf of Alaska near Haines, Alaska. Despite that setback, the lack of scintillating conversation, adequately elaborated crackpot theories or really decent scotch, he returned the next year for another crack at it. Following him were various friends, colleagues and other gullible poltroons he conned into providing the missing elements. Thus was born The Program.

Now, each year, for the two weeks leading up to Canadian Thanksgiving, some two dozen rubes from across the North American continent converge on Haines to engage in relentless jibes and witty rejoinders, all designed to undermine their companions' self-confidence and take their minds off whatever it is they left behind in the real world. That and fish for salmon.

Quality control for this blog is ensured by restricting posts to Haines Program alumni (i.e., no meaningful posts allowed). Email jamesh@cyamid.net if you think you've been unfairly left out of the loop.